Tag: spiderman

ironmanstan:

ironmanstan:

ironmanstan:

ironmanstan:

peter, who can lift up to 10 tons in canon, carrying an elephant in his arms: this is my new pet

tony, losing all color in his face: okay okay cool cool okay cool oka

peter: *drops his backpack on the floor*

concrete: *cracks*

tony, whispering: what the fuck.

tony: you can lift up to 10 thousand kilograms? thats like-

peter, thinking about his abandoned nintendogs: almost enough to lift the weight of my sins, yes

tony:??????

thor: what is this child doing on the battlefield

peter: *picks up the hulk, yeets him 700mph at a flock of aliens* ANGERY SHREK ATTACK

thor: …….nvm

ironmanstan:

cassanddeanareinloveokay:

ironmanstan:

ironmanstan:

headcanon: since meeting ant man, no one dares to fuck with spider man cause they think he can control spiders and fuck that tbh. he defeats villains by threatening to order spiders to infest their house,, his success rate is 100%, new york is crime-free in less than a month,

antman:

villain: what you gonna do huh? steal my picnic food? lmao lemme get the magnifying glass

spiderman:

villain:

villain: ill just turn myself in,

Um actually,

it was bold of me to assume he wouldnt actually do this in canon,

sensei-wrong:

symbiote-spideypool:

peter and wade are fighting side by side and when peter runs out of web fluid, he grabs a gun off wade’s belt and wade has this transcendent moment of i’m going to watch spiderman shoot my gun at a real live bad guy

but peter just fucking throws it at a bad guy’s face and knocks him out cold

The impact causes the gun to go off and shoot wade in the dick. Spider man spends the next several minutes frantically apologizing while cable laughs his ass off for the first time in years.