[Image Description: Tag reading “donatello/michelangelo”]
The AO3 Tag of the Day is: Renaissance fanart
I’m gonna let you in on a secret.
That aint renaissance fanart
You know what, assholes? I run this blog for y’all every day. I see things you cannot begin to imagine. I have to read people’s Robespierre smut and their questions about how various monsters would fuck them. I am so jaded that, when someone submits a tag mentioning some random vaguely liquid substance without context, I just assume it’s being used as lube. Nutella? Lube. Crazy glue? Lube. Divine fucking ichor? Fucking lube! I do this for you, y’all. I shield you from this shit. I stand athwart the tides of horror, hold my hands up, and yell “STOP” in the hopes that it will keep the waters from reaching you.
So you know what, fuckheads!? If I want to maintain the one tiny scrap of innocence I have left, I will. The official policy of AO3TagoftheDay is now that turtles, teenage, mutant, ninja, or otherwise, do not fuck. It never happens. They don’t fuck. They don’t fuck each other. They don’t fuck humans. They don’t fuck in real life and they don’t fuck in fiction. This tag is about two gay Renaissance painters holding each other close and kissing chastely under the Sistine chapel ceiling.
There. Glad we got that sorted out. Please return to your regularly scheduled programming.
I’ve seen posts lumping venom & the fish monster from shape of water together into the same category as pennywise and I must say it is…. Astounding to even imply they are all on the same level whatsoever like….
pennywise fuckers are the lowest of the low like… a monster that is ugly asf and just eats kids & minorities? hard pass. disgusting.
venom fuckers are a little better bc he’s got the whole tongue & teeth thing going for him but yr still gonna get eaten at the end of the day so? u know. unless ur into that
shape of water monster? the good gender neutral fish god? he’s the ONLY valid one out of the bunch you fuck him you get the package deal. get you a fish god that can kill for you, die for you, make you immortal so you can be together forever. get you a fish god with a sensitive side who will treat you R I G H T
I mean, if you wanna talk about ‘fuck, marry, kill’…
this is the funniest possible response to this post it belongs to you now
SquireofGotham 