infinity war seems a lot more unnecessary when you remember that the mcu canonically has two (2) elders of the universe who could literally wipe the floor with thanos. like huge battle, Everything is bad, suddenly the grandmaster and the collector roll up in their party bus techno music blaring and thanos is melted into a puddle instantly
“Fuckin sweet” the collector says as he picks up the infinity gauntlet with his bare fucking hands “this is gonna look great above my big screen tv”
“who gives, uh, a shit about some shiny rocks? my trophy twink is here” calls out the grandmaster. he whisks loki away and they disappear in a puff of golden glitter to go play games across the stars
I mean. Fuck. This isn’t wrong
wait the Grandmaster is powerful? its a Deity? I thought he;s just an alien?
he’s, uh, kinda powerful yeah
Hes not nearly strong enough to beat thanos. That list basically just says hes stronger than a human and immortal
“h,hey you big purple dipshit”
says the grandmaster upon 1) rearranging thanos’s matter into vapor and then 2) subjecting each particle to a blinding blast of kinetic energy and then 3) teleporting each god damn remaining particle to a different corner of the universe,
“i know you liked having a, a body, and all, but uhhhhh this is what you get if you mess with my, my beautiful boyfriend here,” he waves over the battlefield and in loki’s general direction, “and the, the rest of the planet too. there’s skee ball here. skee ball, skee ball is great. so wh-whatever”
the collector is still fawning over the pretty rocks stuck in the infinity gauntlet (which he is still holding with his bare fucking hands) but he does get back into the party bus with it, which stan lee is driving
“bye, losers,” loki says before disappearing into the ether with his sugar daddy in a puff of golden glitter. the day is saved. peter parker goes back to school. bucky gets a goddamn nap under an actual blanket. steve and tony have an adult conversation for once. the rest of the movie is character development and constructive relationship building
the mid credits scene is the collector watching sex and the city on his big screen tv with the infinity gauntlet mounted above it in a lovely shadowbox frame
the end credits scene shows the grandmaster and loki in bed cuddling. loki is fast asleep. the grandmaster’s blue makeup is smudged all over loki’s face and neck and the part of his chest that’s visible. just off screen you can hear taika waititi yelling in triumph. jeff goldblum looks directly at the camera and winks. cut to black
I feel like Tony’s ego is the most legendary cryptid in the MCU
Because I heard reports of it for years. The images of it are usually blurred and easily dismissed as something else to anyone with a pair of eyes and it has yet to actually be proven to factually exist.
I think a lot of people believe Tony is arrogant because of his flippant attitude and tongue-in-cheek blustering, but many of his actions (which speak louder than words) demonstrate a remarkable lack of ego.
Makes Pepper Potts CEO of Stark Industries [he trusts her more than himself to run his company]
“Dead for almost 20 years, and still taking me to school.” [could take credit for the New Element, but emphasizes he ‘re’discovered it]
Lays on the wire in The Avengers to save New York City when redirecting the nuclear bomb into the wormhole [after Steve said Tony isn’t the kind of man to do that]
“I…I’m just a man in a can.” [said while vulnerable]
“Actually, he’s the boss. [points to Steve]
I just pay for everything and design everything, make everyone look cooler.”
“Like the old man said. Together.”
“Ultron. My fault.” [takes sole accountability for the Sokovia disaster, even though Bruce also helped]
The entirety of Civil War in general. Tony believes that the Avengers should have oversight. Handing authority of the Avengers to a Council is not the action of an egoist who thinks he’s always right (!!!) He’s basically admitting they can, and have, made mistakes and need to be put in check.
Asks Peter for a plan on how to rescue Strange in infinity War – and that’s the plan they use.
Goes with Quill’s plan on Titan in Infinity War, even though he didn’t seem to have a high opinion of the guardians.
Tries to stop Strange from handing over the Time Stone in Infinity War, even though that’s what spared his life.
I mean, time and time again, Tony tries to be a team player, listens to others, and exhibits self-deprecating behavior. When he was dying in Iron Man 2, he went on a destructive binge to force everyone who loved him away so they wouldn’t care when he was gone. I mean… !??!?!? Like, ego? Where!?
Iron Man is more than a suit of armor. It’s a metaphor for who Tony Stark is as a person: cold and hard on the outside, but warm and soft on the inside. He uses his arrogance as a shield to protect himself–to deceive people into thinking he’s not as vulnerable as he really is.
It reminds me of this quote:
“The difference between ‘Iron Man’ and some other movies is that there’s no spider bite; there’s no magic bullet where a hero is born. We had to build him. We wanted people to remember that there’s a person inside that suit, and it will hurt if he falls.”
It boggles me when that’s lost on some. Like, yeah, Tony’s a messy character, and he’s certainly a hard pill to swallow because he can be downright acrimonious, but he feels so deeply. He’s easily wounded. He’s one of the most emotionally-driven superheroes. That’s why everything he’s done has taken such a toll on him. It’s why he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder. It’s why he has anxiety attacks.He wants so badly to do good and save the people he loves – even at the cost of his own sanity and comfort. Every time he fails, it destroys more and more of what little self-worth he has.
Reporter in the Marvel unviverse: Anthony Stark, well-known as a generous philanthropist, the CEO of Stark Industries, and his alter-ego “Iron Man,” under fire today after a controversial video he posted to his personal Vine account went viral. The short footage showed Stark in the passenger seat of a car, driving by an anti-homosexual rally, repeatedly shouting “I love sucking [expletive for male genitalia]” out of the open window.
A+ Concept, I love it, I’m dying, it’s too good.
It becomes the hottest new meme throughout the US. Every single time there’s some homophobic rally, Hell, every time there’s a rally held by homophobes whether or not the rally was ABOUT homophobia there’s now teens doing drive-by’s being like “Ahem, this one is for Tony Stark – I LOVE SUCKING [expletive for male genitalia]”. The meme keeps escalating as people find newer and funnier ways to bleep out what they are saying in real time and on Vine. The most popular way? The sound of a repulser charging up.
The whole thing drives homophobes crazy. They hate it so much, it literally has some people trying to create their own counter meme (”I love sucking UP TO JESUS”) that goes very very badly (exactly how you’d expect). So, out of options, they try to sue Tony.
Everybody should know better than to sue Tony.
His lawyers tear them apart. There’s an unholy grin on Tony’s face during the entire publicized case – he’s in a rainbow suit. He’s in rainbow shades. He’s wearing a harness over his suit and his shoes literally leave glitter footprints everywhere he goes. His tie says “I love sucking [REPULSER NOISE]”. Twitter goes nuts. A still of Tony from the trial, one where he is sarcastically blowing pink glitter into the face of a woman trying to hit him with a picket sign, becomes a reaction image nobody can resist. You wanna represent how tired you are of homophobic comments? That’s your image. It’s usually coupled by one of Rhodey in the background, military dress uniform smeared in glitter and a blatant glittery kiss mark pressed to his cheek, staring at the ceiling and praying for death.
Listen this is the best addition to my post and im both writing this into a fic and drawing fan art for it @purgatoryandme
I’m pretty sure that if you put this in front of RDJ he would provide us with actual footage of these things.
I’m not even a huge marvel fan but this is… this is gold
SquireofGotham 