ridiasfangirlings:

Fushimi as the grumpiest advice DJ ever would be hilarious, like
maybe he’s not even supposed to be the one who’s doing this, he was
an intern at the radio station and they were trying to debut this new
advice hour but the DJ who was intended to be the host backs out like
two minutes before the show was to go on the air. The station head is
desperate to find a replacement and hears Fushimi berating one of his
fellow interns for messing something up, the station head recognizes
immediately that Fushimi has a voice made for radio and makes him the
temporary host. Fushimi’s like wait what the fuck but he’s assured
that all he has to do is play songs that people request and listen to
them talk about their problems for an hour and then they’ll find
someone new to take over. Fushimi is still not thrilled about this
because he doesn’t want to hear a bunch of sad sacks calling him
about their worthless love lives but he’s promised a bonus and
anything that gets him out of having to work his shitty unpaid
internship sooner the better works. When the first show begins all
the people in charge at the station are just beside themselves in
misery because Fushimi is the biggest asshole ever, he’s mocking
people who call in and being all dryly sarcastic and okay yes he’s
playing relevant songs but he’s such an asshole. They’re then
absolutely shocked to learn Fushimi got great ratings and the amount
of listeners increased steadily over the whole hour, turns out that
while Fushimi’s advice is blunt and unsympathetic it’s actually
pretty good and people liked hearing someone who would tell, say, a
tearful caller asking for help because they cheated on their
boyfriend that ‘maybe you should have thought of that before you
cheated, moron.’

Fushimi’s show is pushed to a late night slow where he can swear
freely at idiots if he wants to and he quickly becomes one of the
most popular DJs on the radio, his voice is oddly soothing even when
he’s berating people, he’s great at picking out the right song for
any given situation and he even gives out decent advice from time to
time. One day he gets a call from a deep voiced man who calls himself
Royal in Shizume, who tells Fushimi that his boyfriend recently
committed suicide and that he’s not sure where to go from here, he’s
tried bonding with his coworkers and he’s tried burying himself in
his work but neither one seems conducive to moving on. As they talk
it becomes clear that the caller hasn’t been actually grieving at
all, just walking around acting like everything’s fine, and Fushimi
clicks his tongue and tells Royal that’s what his problem is, like
maybe instead of acting like nothing can fucking touch you you
actually allow yourself to feel the loss and then move on from it. On
the other side of the city Munakata is surprised to find that the
radio DJ he called on a whim has been more honest with him than just
about anyone else in his life, all Munakata’s friends and coworkers
have been treating him gently and dancing around the subject of
Mikoto’s death but Fushimi is the first one to just say what Munakata
needs to hear rather than what he wants to hear.

After that Munakata ends up taking some time off for himself,
visiting Mikoto’s grave and letting his usually impenetrable regal
mask break and just having a good cry and yelling at Mikoto for
leaving him like this. He feels considerably better afterward and
decides that clearly the proper thing to do would be to call the
radio DJ and thank him. Fushimi meanwhile has never been thanked
for his advice in his life, most of his callers hang up pissed
and it just gets reported on social media and forum posts that the
advice did actually work. Munakata’s the first one to praise Fushimi
for his skills at analyzing the situation and offering his best
suggestion and Fushimi doesn’t even really know how to take it, this
acknowledgment that he truly did help someone. After that Munakata
finds himself calling in from time to time to ask advice about
finding a hypothetical rebound boyfriend because he just enjoys
talking with Fushimi. The radio station doesn’t mind this repeat
caller as it actually makes the popularity of Fushimi’s show explode,
because the public so ships it. Everyone except Fushimi seems
to have realized that Munakata has a thing for Fushimi and is just
calling for excuses to talk to him, meanwhile Fushimi’s always
finding himself looking forward to Munakata’s calls and getting
annoyed at himself it, like it’s not as if Munakata would have any
interest in him if they met face to face anyway. Then Munakata calls
one day and suggests he and Fushimi meet face to face on Valentine’s
Day and poor Fushimi has a total crisis because he wants to meet
Munakata but he also has no faith at all that Munakata actually wants
to meet him, Fushimi’s certain that this all must be some elaborate
joke and everything will come crashing down if he dares to actually
show up.