18thandfairfax:

• Fat chocobo chicks
• You can brake-check the Regalia so everyone gets mad at Ignis.  He deftly apologizes but you know deep inside he wonders why he did it.
• We have reached a creature crossing
• Noct will sit up on the back of the car and casually look behind to see if anyone’s around to notice how cool he is.
• It hasn’t worked so far, but I believe if I brake-check often enough while Noct is sitting on the back of the car or Prompto is standing up to talk to the back seat they’ll learn about car safety
• If you put coins in your molotov cocktail before lobbing it at someone you’ll grow more as a person than if you don’t
• The Coernix Station Kenny Crow is just dumped on some crates around the side of the building
• Everyone talks about what a hard worker Holly is, how everything would fall apart without her, but every time I see her she’s just standing around, waiting for me to show up so she can give me the work she agreed to do
• There’s an invisible cooler of holding in the back seat filled with an infinite amount of Ebony for Noct to hand to Ignis and ask if it’s really that good and have Ignis tell him, through his teeth, “yes, it is.”
• If you really feel like it you can stand in the middle of the road at night and get in an infinite loop fighting demons and magitek soldiers
• If you keep them up for several days Noct looks like he’s been making and eating mud pies. Everyone else is shiny clean.
• They all stand around with great interest and watch Noct fish like watching someone fish isn’t the most boring activity known to man
• Noct is always complaining about being cold and then gets lectured by Ignis for not wearing a jacket.  I know he would gladly wear his jacket and be warm and not be lectured anymore, but I am in charge and I have declared that no one gets a jacket
• You can make them go on extra long drives so they all get out of the car whining 
• Prompto loves shopping so much he has to take a group photo inside every backwater store that actually has a roof over it
• The roadside vendors that cheerily screech “THANK YOU!” every time you complete a transaction
• The “Somebody help me!” guy that really needs to pick up a new, non-hiking hobby
• I am jealous of Gladio’s ability to read in a moving car
• Noct can’t pump gas without sighing and grunting three times
• If you don’t want to fight a Red Giant you can run away and watch it stomp moodily around, yelling at rocks and street lights
• Noct has a link-strike with his chocobo but sometimes my game doesn’t render the chocobo so it’s just Noct floating around wide-legged like a fool
• If you do a link-strike combo on a vulnerable spiracorn you can take the phrase “beating a dead horse” back to its roots.  I feel bad because it’s such obvious overkill, but if I don’t finish the combo everyone thinks I’m a failure, so…
• I can make all four chocobos different shades of purple
• Every time I pick up debased currency I think “the things this money has *seen*.  the things this money has *done*”
• Prompto is just trying to make some memories, Noct, stop giving him fight-me face in every photo
• You can warp-strike an enemy repeatedly at close range until it feels like you’re just trying to annoy them to death
• You get to shake cute puppy paw
• The time my game glitched and gave me this masterpiece: